‘Going the Distance’ proves not all can follow the Judd Apatow formula

September 1st, 2010
Justin Long and Drew Barrymore in "Going the Distance" Garrett (Justin Long) meets Erin (Drew Barrymore) in a bar in “Going the Distance,” a romance about faraway lovers.
Erin and Garrett have been separated for too long while working in different cities, so they decide to indulge in some phone sex.

But after thrashing out the embellished details of their fantasized tryst – car vs. elevator? – the two long-distance lovers finally cave to frustration.

“This isn’t really working!” Erin confesses.

Neither is “Going the Distance,” a romantic comedy surprisingly light on romance and fun, but heavy on the sort of randy vulgarity that falls way short of riotous humor.

Documentary film director Nanette “American Teen” Burstein directed “Going the Distance,” and she follows the formula of producer/director Judd Apatow in his string of successful comedies (“Superbad,” “The 40 Year Old Virgin,” plus others).

Her movie proves it’s not all that easy to duplicate Apatow’s ability to find the right balance between empathetic characters and wince-inducing, gross-out gags.

Garrett (Justin Long) meets Erin (Drew Barrymore) at a video game in a New York bar soon after being dumped by his girlfriend. They chat. They flirt. They bond.

He works as an assistant in a record company. She serves as an intern with the fictional New York Sentinel newspaper.

With Erin scheduled to jet back to her San Francisco home in two weeks, Garrett proposes a long-distance relationship, and she accepts.

So, the couple embarks on a naive quest to date by Skype, until the impersonal grind takes its predictable toll on the two and forces them to reconsider their options. (Read more…)

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Over-the-top ‘Machete’ cuts through grindhouse conventions

September 1st, 2010
Danny Trejo in "Machete" Danny Trejo plays “Machete,” a legendary ex-Federale with a deadly attitude, originally created for a fake movie trailer.
“Machete” is a deliriously daffy tribute to the over-the-top, 1970s grindhouse features flooded with excessive nudity, sex, violence and hilarious tough-guy dialogue.

Its villains include a cruel Mexican drug lord, a corrupt U.S. senator and a militia commander who shoots illegal immigrants for sport – to protect America, of course.

Its un-young hero, Machete, apparently can’t be killed and never needs Viagra.

The women are sexy all of the time, naked some of the time, and when they actually wear something, it tends to be stiletto heels and leather halter tops or else a nun’s habit.

But we’re getting ahead of the story.

Character actor Danny Trejo plays the title character, a dedicated Mexican Federale who, in the opening sequence, disobeys orders to stay put and charges into a drug lord’s den to rescue a kidnapped woman.

Torrez, the “Mexican drug lord,” is played by paunchy former action superstar Steven Seagal. (Oh, that must be why he didn’t have time to star in “The Expendables.”)

After Machete has already sliced through Torrez’s henchmen like a lawn mower through crabgrass (he performs a monumental quality kill by cutting three heads off with a single stroke!), Torrez captures Machete and executes his wife in front of his eyes.

We don’t see all of it, because a really bad and clumsy edit deletes the throat-slashing moment.

This is part of the “Machete” appeal. (Read more…)

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Interesting minutia drags down fatalistic ‘American’

September 1st, 2010
George Clooney in "The American" George Clooney plays Jack, an American assassin in Rome, in the European-flavored espionage drama “The American.”
Anton Corbijn’s contemplative espionage drama “The American” marks a throwback to the existentialist spy movies of the 1960s flavored with a touch of European cinema.

That’s code for: It doesn’t come close to the action-packed thriller that the trailers and TV commercials suggest.

This fatalistic character study – and this film does a lot of studying – is steeped in the creeping sense of paranoia, isolation, distrust and loneliness experienced by an American assassin named Jack, played with soulful eyes and a heavy heart by George Clooney.

Forget the hyperactive high jinks of Jason Bourne and the thrills of a 007 feature film.

If “The American” recalls Ian Fleming’s James Bond, it’s only during the spy’s literary, never-filmed introspective moments when Agent 007 exercised in his hotel room to stay fit and stave off boredom.

Clooney plays Jack, an American agent whom we never know much about.

After dispatching an attacker during a snowy shootout in Sweden, Jack gets orders from his gravel-voiced supervisor (Johan Leysen) to head to Rome and wait. And wait.

Eventually, Jack meets his conscience in the form of a kindly priest (Paolo Bonacelli) who possesses a heart of gold and exceptional English skills.

Jack also meets his might-have-been dream girl in the form of a beautiful, loving prostitute (Rome-born actress Violante Placido) who also possesses a heart of gold and absolutely no latent male hatred issues.

The plot, or what passes for one in “The American,” kicks in when a hot, international assassin of vague political orientation (Thekla Reuten) approaches Jack to build a specialized weapon she can use for an unspecified target. (Read more…)

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‘Takers’ take all right, but give nothing in return

August 29th, 2010
Hayden Christensen in "Takers" A.J. (Hayden Christensen) launches into action as one of several efficient bank robbers in the action drama “Takers.”
“Takers” ranks as one of the most pretentious, ill-conceived and badly botched heist movies ever made.

“We’re takers!” shouts Gordon Jennings (Idris Elba), leader of a band of efficient and elusive L.A. bank robbers. “We take!”

They sure do.

They take the famous armored car robbery plot from “The Italian Job.” They take the messy hotel room shootout from “True Romance.” They take the final scene from “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” (plus the line “Who are those guys?”). They take the street gunfights from “Heat.”

They take and take and take!

And what do they give us in return?

A dour, soulless action movie riddled with dopey, expository dialogue, dislikable characters, horribly misplaced music (a sad cello playing during a violent shootout?) and a hyper editing style so cranked up and blurry that you can’t tell what’s going on in most of the action sequences.

This last criticism is particularly annoying when bank robber Jesse Attica (Chris Brown) leads cop Jack Welles (Matt Damon) on a dynamic street chase through L.A. and escapes by performing some of the best and boldest parkour moves since the French thriller “District B-13.”

But the sequence has been shot so tight and edited so quick that we never really see how magnificent these stunts are. “Takers” actually undermines its own quality. (Read more…)

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Con-man minister seeks redemption in ‘Last Exorcism’

August 29th, 2010
Patrick Fabian and Ashley Bell in "The Last Exorcism" Rev. Cotton Marcus (Patrick Fabian) tries to drive a demon from a country girl, Nell (Ashley Bell), in “The Last Exorcism.”
Frankly, I am getting really weary of horror movies mounted as first-person pseudo-documentaries shot with nausea-inducing hand-held cameras.

Still, if there absolutely must be another one to join the ranks of “Cloverfield,” “The Blair Witch Project,” “Paranormal Activity,” the two “REC” movies and the granddaddy of them all “Cannibal Holocaust,” it might as well be Daniel Stamm’s earnest, surprising and well-acted entry “The Last Exorcism.”

It begins as a documentary about a con artist minister who seeks redemption by coming clean about his sham practice of pretending to exorcise demons — for a fee.

Then, the movie abruptly changes direction. And in the final reel, it changes direction again, and reveals what it’s really been about all along.

I did find the ending to be a slight disappointment, not just because it felt too abrupt and dramatically blunt. But because it duplicates the closing shot of another highly popular horror pseudo doc. (It’s OK to read further, there are no spoilers here.)

The Rev. Cotton Marcus (a spot-on performance by mostly TV actor Patrick Fabian) is apparently in bad need of redemption for his career of trickery that he gladly tells every secret to filmmaker Iris (Iris Bahr) and her ubiquitous cameraman.

He expresses disdain not only for himself, but for the ignorant churchgoers who fall for his dramatic incantations and carnival-show shenanigans, such as the spooky noises generated by his hidden sound system.

Then he gets a letter from a Bible-belt farmer, Louis Sweetzer (Louis Herthum), desperately imploring Marcus to exorcise his teen daughter Nell (Ashley Bell).

“The devil is inside my daughter!” Sweetzer proclaims. (Read more…)

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Winning cast sells comic ‘Lottery Ticket’

August 21st, 2010
Bow Wow and Loretta Devine in "Lottery Ticket" Kevin (Bow Wow) and his grandma (Loretta Devine) squeal when they win $370 million in the comedy “Lottery Ticket.”
Winning the lottery is one surefire way of getting ahead in the world without displaying a lick of talent, brains or hard work. That’s why it’s a favorite fantasy of so many – and why it’s hard for me to sympathize too much with actor/rapper Bow Wow as Kevin Carson, protagonist of the new comedy “Lottery Ticket.”

Kevin is a likable guy from the Atlanta projects who suddenly wins $370 million in the Mondo Millions sweepstakes, using lucky numbers he got off a fortune cookie.

One hitch: It’s Saturday of a Fourth of July weekend that will stretch through Monday, so Kevin can’t cash the ticket until Tuesday. He tries to keep it a secret, but unfortunately, he still lives with his terminally talkative Grandma (Loretta Devine).

Soon, Kevin’s life has taken a marked turn for the worse, or at least the more dangerous. He has all kinds of new “friends” and his real longtime chums – including Brandon T. Jackson as best bud Benny and Naturi Naughton as true-blue gal pal Stacie – are feeling neglected.

Teairra Mari as foxy Nikki appoints Kevin her newest cutie. The local pastor, slick Rev. Taylor, preaches a sermon about a new church project and it’s aimed straight at Kevin’s pew. The local loan shark, Sweet Tee (the always excellent Keith David), is happy to float Kevin a $100,000 loan and also to lend him a torpedo named Jimmy the Driver (Terry Crews) to look after his (their) interests.

And the most dangerous man in the projects – psycho ex-con Lorenzo (Gbenga Akinnagbe) – wants that ticket, and doesn’t care whom he has to bash to get it. (Read more…)

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‘Switch’ characters deliver more than you’d expect from typical rom-com

August 21st, 2010
Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston in "The Switch" Wally (Jason Bateman) and Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) deal with an inconceivable conception problem in “The Switch.”
“The Switch” could easily have been just another cheesy romantic comedy with gratuitous voice-over narrations and two standard musical montages where the lyrics explain exactly how the main characters are feeling – just in case the actors didn’t convey that.

But “The Switch” has been well-written by Alan Loeb (based on Jeffrey Eugenides’ short story “Baster”), who gives each character careful and specific motivations. Plus, the team of well-cast actors elevates the mediocre elements of the story into something meaningful, sincere and even joyful.

At the start, New Yorkers Wally and Kassie have been best buds for years.

He clearly would like to take their relationship out of the friend zone and on to something more romantic.

She clearly would not. He’s way too neurotic, she thinks, and he moans when he eats, and possesses the sartorial taste of a junior high school dweeb.

With her biological clock pounding, Kassie opts to become a mother by way of a sperm donor, a handsome, muscular, married teacher named Roland, a superb specimen of maleness. Kassie gets so excited, she throws a pregnancy party just before a doctor inseminates her.

But at that party, a despondent Wally gets blitzed on alcohol and herbal drugs, then accidentally (yeah, right) spills Roland’s contribution for the evening in Kassie’s bathroom.

Panicked, Wally replaces Roland’s reproductive sample with his own, but is too blitzed to remember anything the next morning.

Kassie becomes pregnant, moves to Minnesota, then returns to New York seven years later with her son Sebastian. Right away, we can tell he’s way too neurotic and moans when he eats. (Read more…)

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‘Animal Kingdom’ a stark drama reeking of realism

August 19th, 2010
James Frecheville and Jacki Weaver in "Animal Kingdom" After his mother’s death, Josh (James Frecheville, left) goes to live with his grandmother (Jacki Weaver) and gets sucked into his criminal family’s violent world in “Animal Kingdom.”
The title “Animal Kingdom” sounds like a film about survival of the fittest. And it is, except the animals are a dysfunctional family of Australian criminals in Melbourne who suck a quiet young lad named Josh (James Frecheville) into their world.

David Michod’s impressive, assured Aussie gangster drama begins with Josh sitting next to his mum, dying of a heroin overdose. He can’t quite focus on her because the exciting game show on the TV distracts him.

He eventually goes to live with his grandma Smurf (Jacki Weaver), the queen of criminal enablers whose three sons dabble in everything from drugs to robbery and murder.

“Animal Kingdom” is a stark drama reeking of toxic realism. Josh remains a chilling blank slate, and he is unable to guess the danger he’s in, or the danger he puts his new girlfriend (Laura Wheelright) in just by dating her. (Read more…)

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Dann chats with ‘Scott Pilgrim’ star Michael Cera, director Edgar Wright

August 13th, 2010
Michael Cera and Edgar Wright from "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" Actor Michael Cera, left, and director Edgar Wright get serious about their new movie “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.”
It’s Cera vs. Wright!

Michael Cera is the star of the new frenetic action movie/romance “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.” Edgar Wright directed it, along with two earlier comedies “Hot Fuzz” and “Shaun of the Dead.”

I sat down with both at Chicago’s Peninsula Hotel for a brief chat.

DG. Mr. Wright, what led you to decide to treat the numerous action scenes in “Scott Pilgrim” as if they were musical numbers?

EW. In the books, when Scott Pilgrim destroys opponents, they explode into coins, just like in a video game. The only way I could think of to make that work in a film was to play it like a musical. In the same way in musicals where people break into songs or dance, here they break into fights.

A big fight scene in a Hong Kong action film is like a dance number. I used that as a cue for a way to structure the film. A lot of recent action films, particularly the Bourne films, are going for this rough-and-tumble realism. This is much more choreographed and stylized. Choreographing this with actors is more like learning ballet than it is a rough-and-tumble fist fight.”

DG. Mr. Cera, did you ever imagine you’d be a super action hero in a movie one day?

MC. No, I never thought about it. It wasn’t something that I ever dreamed about or anything. Besides, this movie is a lot more than that. (Read more…)

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Stallone turns ‘Expendables’ into brain-dead bloodbath

August 13th, 2010
Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren and Sylvester Stallone in "The Expendables" Barney Ross (director Sylvester Stallone), right, gets the drop on Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), who has the drop on Ying Yang (Jet Li) in the action thriller “The Expendables.”
What’s up with Sylvester Stallone’s face?

The star, co-writer and director of “The Expendables” looks as if he’s had his head reconstructed with Silly Putty, and his eyebrows have been embroidered on to his skull by an inebriated seamstress.

Maybe it’s just the soldier-for-hire he plays. If he runs out of bullets, he can always scare his enemies away.

But I digress.

“The Expendables” will go down in Hollywood history as the greatest waste of testosterone ever splattered on the silver screen.

This ridiculous, brain-dead and viciously violent mercenary action film assembles the largest group of major tough guys ever to escape from the 1980s with their AARP cards intact: Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Eric Roberts and Mickey Rourke.

Hey! What happened to Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme? Too busy to stop by for a roundhouse kick or two?

Before “Terminator” and “Die Hard” fans start drooling, it should be noted that the Governator and Willis appear in “The Expendables” for about as long as you see them in the coming attraction trailers.

After trading quips, Schwarzenegger and Willis wisely disappear for the rest of the movie before it deteriorates from nostalgic cuteness into chaotic schlock. (Read more…)

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